Affirmation

One of the biggest obstacles facing parents today is finding creative ways to affirm their children. In the face of tough economic times, job loss, broken homes and our ever increasing hurried lifestyles, affirming our children in their identities, talents and unique personalities can become a lost priority. Are there ways in which parents can take the opportunity to affirm their children given the pressures of today’s world? I believe there is.

Recently, I attended two wedding anniversaries. One couple was celebrating their twenty fifth; the other was celebrating their fiftieth. In both cases, the children of these couples went to extraordinary efforts to ensure that the celebration was special and their parents would be honored.

All details were thoroughly adhered to. Everything from confirming the guest lists, to ordering food to decorating the hall in festive colours, to selecting the perfect music to coincide with power point presentations which told the story of their parents lives. In every way it was clear, the children wanted to demonstrate how much they love their parents.

The feeling was mutual. As the parents mingled with guests, cut their anniversary cake and danced together, the looks on their faces and their conversations with family and friends conveyed the fact that they were extremely grateful for and proud of their children. This was confirmed during the after dinner speeches when the parents thanked their children.

In both cases the couples said, “You kids are a blessing to us. If we could go back in time and custom make the kids we always wanted, we wouldn’t change a thing. You are exactly what we wanted and all we could ever want. We love you.”

As you can imagine, after words like that, there wasn’t a dry eye to be found on the faces of the parents, children or the guests who were present for such joyous occasions. I began to wonder, what if every parent took the opportunity to look their children right in the eye and say something like, “you kids are a blessing to us. If we could go back in time and custom make the kids we always wanted, we wouldn’t change a thing.”
I wonder how many wounds would be healed, relationships restored and sins forgiven all within the span of a few seconds with the expression of those life giving words? Could even millions of dollars be saved in counseling fees and medications?

If the challenge you face today, is wondering how to affirm your children, why not take the opportunity to tell them that they are what you always wanted and you wouldn’t change a thing. The words you say now may bring generational blessing for years to come.

- Terry Harris

Diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when he was two years old, Terry Harris in the opinion of many experts within the medical and education professions, would never walk, talk, read, write or go to a regular school. It was recommended to his parents that he beplaced in an institution. In 1995 Terry graduated from Brock University with a B.A. in English Literature and obtained a degree in marriage and family therapy in 1999 from Tyndale Seminary.