As I was preparing for the staff retreats that are taking place this week in Paisley I was reminded of something I did as a child. I was a pretty well behaved kid. I never got into big trouble because to me it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t have a tremendous moral centre or anything. In fact I was rather selfish, but I always treated people fairly well because I found if I did they treated me well in return. I was fairly calculated and unemotional. I would weigh the pros and cons. “How much fun will it be?” “What will the punishment be?” I may be oversimplifying this a bit but that was my basic mentality until I was about 17.
When I was in grade six I went through a time when I didn’t have many friends. I was liked by most people but I didn’t get much attention at school. One day my class was working with pastels (kind of like greasy crayons if you have never heard of them). As I was using the pastels at my desk I accidentally strayed off the paper and put a big line on my desk. The kid beside me noticed and said “oh you are going to be in trouble for drawing on the desk”. I liked the attention so I just looked at him and drew another line on the desk. Then he nudges the person beside him and whispers “look what Mark is doing”. I liked the way this was going but I stopped and thought - What will happen if I continue to draw on my desk? I will definitely have to clean it off. Worse case scenario I will have to clean all the desks in the room. I decided the attention was worth it. I slid the paper off my desk and proceeded to cover my desk with pastels. By the time I was finished I was a bit of a class celebrity. Eventually the teacher came over to find out what half of the class was looking at. The class waited quietly to listen to what would happen. The conversation went pretty much as I had thought it would. It went something like this:
“Mark, what are you doing?”
“Drawing on my desk.”
“Why are you doing that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well you are going to have to clean your desk!”
“OK.”
“In fact you have to clean all the desks!”
“OK.”
“Well leave it for now. When your mother comes to pick you up have her come in. I would like her to see this”
The last part was not part of my plan. I hadn’t counted that in the cost. Now I was going to have to deal with consequences at home. I thought “well that is too bad but at least it was a success”.
When my mom came to pick me up I told her the teacher wanted to see her. I sat on the curb outside and waited for her to come out. When she did I learned that there was another cost I hadn’t counted on. My mother was in tears. I am pretty sure she cried the whole way home. I don’t remember her reprimanding me or punishing me in any way (she may have). I just remember her crying. I found out years later that she was wondering what was wrong with me. What could have made her son so angry that he would do this?
The real cost I had to pay for defacing my desk, the cost I had not considered, was that I really hurt my mother.
In first and second Samuel* there are two contrasting stories of Kings that are confronted about their sin. In first Samuel 15, Samuel the prophet confronts Saul about his disobedience. Saul’s response to the confrontation is:
30Then he said, "I have sinned; but please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and go back with me, that I may worship the LORD your God." (1 Sam 15:30 NASB)
Saul wants to move past the sin. He is concerned about saving face in front of the people. He wants to keep it quiet. Saul also gives excuses.
When Nathan confronts King David about his sin regarding Bathsheba and the killing of Uriah, David answers much more simply:
13Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD” (1 Sam 12:13 NASB)
David offers no excuses. He doesn’t try to keep it quiet. He writes a psalm about it for everyone to sing. This is the intro to Psalm 51:
For the choir director. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
David cared more about setting things right with God than he did about what people thought of him. I think that one of the main reasons we don’t have accountability is that we are embarrassed to admit to someone what we have done. Our pride gets in the way. When it comes right down to it we would rather avoid embarrassment in front of another human than try to stop hurting God, the very one we say is most important to us.
I need to be motivated to stop sinning not only by the punishments. The punishment should only be a secondary motivator. I should be motivated to stop hurting God, the one who loves me most, and those He loves.
Mark Wallace
* Much of these thoughts come form Bible studies based on Charles Swindoll's book “David” written by Bob Fukumoto and John McAuley at Muskoka Woods Sports Resort
When I was in grade six I went through a time when I didn’t have many friends. I was liked by most people but I didn’t get much attention at school. One day my class was working with pastels (kind of like greasy crayons if you have never heard of them). As I was using the pastels at my desk I accidentally strayed off the paper and put a big line on my desk. The kid beside me noticed and said “oh you are going to be in trouble for drawing on the desk”. I liked the attention so I just looked at him and drew another line on the desk. Then he nudges the person beside him and whispers “look what Mark is doing”. I liked the way this was going but I stopped and thought - What will happen if I continue to draw on my desk? I will definitely have to clean it off. Worse case scenario I will have to clean all the desks in the room. I decided the attention was worth it. I slid the paper off my desk and proceeded to cover my desk with pastels. By the time I was finished I was a bit of a class celebrity. Eventually the teacher came over to find out what half of the class was looking at. The class waited quietly to listen to what would happen. The conversation went pretty much as I had thought it would. It went something like this:
“Mark, what are you doing?”
“Drawing on my desk.”
“Why are you doing that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well you are going to have to clean your desk!”
“OK.”
“In fact you have to clean all the desks!”
“OK.”
“Well leave it for now. When your mother comes to pick you up have her come in. I would like her to see this”
The last part was not part of my plan. I hadn’t counted that in the cost. Now I was going to have to deal with consequences at home. I thought “well that is too bad but at least it was a success”.
When my mom came to pick me up I told her the teacher wanted to see her. I sat on the curb outside and waited for her to come out. When she did I learned that there was another cost I hadn’t counted on. My mother was in tears. I am pretty sure she cried the whole way home. I don’t remember her reprimanding me or punishing me in any way (she may have). I just remember her crying. I found out years later that she was wondering what was wrong with me. What could have made her son so angry that he would do this?
The real cost I had to pay for defacing my desk, the cost I had not considered, was that I really hurt my mother.
In first and second Samuel* there are two contrasting stories of Kings that are confronted about their sin. In first Samuel 15, Samuel the prophet confronts Saul about his disobedience. Saul’s response to the confrontation is:
30Then he said, "I have sinned; but please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and go back with me, that I may worship the LORD your God." (1 Sam 15:30 NASB)
Saul wants to move past the sin. He is concerned about saving face in front of the people. He wants to keep it quiet. Saul also gives excuses.
When Nathan confronts King David about his sin regarding Bathsheba and the killing of Uriah, David answers much more simply:
13Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD” (1 Sam 12:13 NASB)
David offers no excuses. He doesn’t try to keep it quiet. He writes a psalm about it for everyone to sing. This is the intro to Psalm 51:
For the choir director. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
David cared more about setting things right with God than he did about what people thought of him. I think that one of the main reasons we don’t have accountability is that we are embarrassed to admit to someone what we have done. Our pride gets in the way. When it comes right down to it we would rather avoid embarrassment in front of another human than try to stop hurting God, the very one we say is most important to us.
I need to be motivated to stop sinning not only by the punishments. The punishment should only be a secondary motivator. I should be motivated to stop hurting God, the one who loves me most, and those He loves.
Mark Wallace
* Much of these thoughts come form Bible studies based on Charles Swindoll's book “David” written by Bob Fukumoto and John McAuley at Muskoka Woods Sports Resort
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