The Ugliness Of Envy

In the last blog we talked about how envy affects the way we see other people. It causes us to slowly start to hope for the other person’s downfall. Remember, “coveting” is when you desire something that someone else has. “Jealousy” is when you feel entitled to what they have. “Envy” is the emotion you feel toward the person who has what you want.* Envy is saying “who are they to have that thing/privilege/skill?” Envy is rooted in pride. It has a sense of entitlement. Thomas Aquinas defined envy as “sorrow at another person’s good”. This is contrary to what the Bible commands:

Romans 12:15 (NIV) Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Envy has another strange consequence. It eventually makes us more concerned with the downfall of others than with our own success or happiness. Think about the case of Cain and Abel. Cain was originally covetous of God’s acceptance of Abel. But rather than seek that acceptance for himself, which God had told him how to do, he kills Abel. But as you know, killing Abel does not make him more acceptable to God. Coveting makes us want what others have. Envy results in our losing sight of what we want and causes us to focus on ensuring that no one else can have it. This is clearly seen in the story of the two women who come to King Solomon arguing over the baby.

1 Kings 3:23-26 (NIV) 23 The king said, "This one says, 'My son is alive and your son is dead,' while that one says, 'No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.'" 24 Then the king said, "Bring me a sword." So they brought a sword for the king. 25 He then gave an order: "Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other." 26 The woman whose son was alive was filled with compassion for her son and said to the king, "Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don't kill him!" But the other said, "Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!"

The woman who stole the baby originally did it because she wanted the baby. But by the end, she is more concerned about the rightful mother not having the baby than having the king award the baby to herself. I am always worried when I hear people say that they want to be the ‘best’ in their field/family/workplace. In my high school biology class our teacher rearranged the seating plan after every quiz test and assignment. The seating plan was arranged based on our grades. The person with the lowest grad sat in the front right of the room and the grades snaked in order to the highest grade in the course, in the back left. (I cannot imagine a teacher doing this today.) On the first quiz I got the second highest grade in the class. My friend Sara got the highest. Every test after that we pretty much got the same grade so we stayed in the top two spots all semester. But she stayed in the top seat with me in the second. I could not pass her. I was glad to be doing well in the course and I was glad she was too. That grade enabled me to do a Biology degree in university. There was a dark part of me though, that would have been happier if I was getting a 75% grade and being the best in the class then the 97% I was earning but only being in second. Envy does sick things to us. I am not proud of those feelings. Sometimes I think this can happen in group homes.

We can be envious of co-workers relationships. Maybe they are an individual’s favourite staff or they have a better rapport with our supervisor or they are more popular among the staff. We may be tempted to highlight their shortcomings in our conversations with people. But, is that really going to help us win over those relationships for ourselves or is it going to make us less likable?

I started this whole topic of envy by discussing the great ironic plot of Disney’s “Snow White”. The poetic thing is that the envious queen begins by wanting to be the most beautiful in the land. She tries to destroy Snow White, and in her attempt to do so she dies an ugly old hag.

Mark Wallace

* My thinking on Envy has been very influenced by sermons by Sundar Krishnan and bible study material written by Bob Fukumoto based in part on Tony Campolo's book on the 7 deadly sins.