The American Idol Syndrome

I am not a big fan of reality T.V. However, I will occasionally watch the audition portion of American Idol. It constantly amazes me to observe the disconnect between what people believe they sound like and what they really sound like. Everyone wants to be a ‘rock star’. I started to refer to this as the ‘American Idol Syndrome’ – however, my use of this phrase is far from unique, as a quick Google search will reveal there are numerous references to this new cultural phenomenon. It is comical although sad at the same time – the depth of the delusion. People honestly believe that they are music star quality and can get quite aggressive and angry when their delusion is confronted by an opposing view. As observers, we witness the train wreck – at many different angles, with close ups and commentary. It is interesting listening to the comments of the judges. Simon is prideful and tactless, brutally exposing the utter lack of talent for what it is – believing that he has the ‘right’ to reveal the truth without consideration or responsibility for the person. Paula seeks to maintain the person’s delusion and defend the underdog. She may leave the person with the impression that they are extremely talented only for them to be confronted by reality at a later date – but at least she didn’t do it. This is not a particularly helpful strategy either. And Randy often takes the middle ground – he tries to encourage while giving a dose of reality and encouraging them to explore ‘other’ talents they might have. But in the end, all have to determine whether this person has what it takes to enter the next round.

It got me thinking of how often this is played out in other aspects of life – “our” lives. We have a vision of ourselves that can be quite different from how others experience us. When we are confronted by this ‘difference’, our immediate default is denial, aggression and anger.

Paul says in Romans 12:1-8 I appeal to you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of [themselves] more highly than [they] ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God as assigned.

What is interesting is Paul’s focus on: ‘not to think of ourelves more highly than we ought to think”. It addresses our way of thinking or believing we have to, or need to have this particular talent or gifting. Instead, we need to take a long, hard, realistic look at ourselves – not in a self-depreciating way or one that denies the opportunity to have dreams and goals, which we all need and should have – but in order to have an intrinsic awareness of God’s gifting (or not), not only for ourselves, but also for the benefit of those about us. The truth is, people see us for who they experience us to be, not by how we perceive ourselves to be. So, if we’re truly to be effective and not at difference with the world around us, we need to learn to see ourselves through the eyes of others.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

As leaders, we will continue to struggle with the ‘when and what to say’ whenever we encounter the American Idol Syndrome. However, I’ve come to the realization that we are not doing anyone a favour when the delusion is maintained or even fueled because we want to be kind. Obviously, we need not be a Simon – dismissive and rude. But being Paula isn’t particularly helpful either. Randy’s approach tends to be the best – a glimpse of reality, delivered with a genuine respect. Paul’s advice is best: “I say to everyone among you not to think of [themselves] more highly than [they] ought to think, but to think with sober judgment”.

I was just thinking….

Neil